And the award for the most worthless film genre known to man? THE SPOOF MOVIE. Stand up and take your applause.

People say they used to be good. Airplane! is touted as a comedic classic. I should watch it for that reason alone, as the dregs of modern cinema that insist on shitting on our screenings every few months these days are anything but.

There have been 3 sequels.

Thanks a lot Scary Movie. You were pretty funny, but the babies you gave birth to are so deformed, butt-ugly and utterly retarded you really should have crawled back to the rock you came from and died a quick death. Date Movie. Epic Movie. Meet the Spartans. Superhero Movie. Scary Movie part 12 (at least you still have the presence of cutie-pie Anna Faris, so you can’t be all that bad).

Never forget: these are HORRIBLE films. Matter of fact, I doubt you can call them films. If a dog puts on a hat, a sweater and some Converse sneakers and walks around pretending to be your milkman, but keeps barking and shitting on trees and eating Schmakkos, are we supposed to accept that he’s a human being? No, he’s a dog. These “spoof” movies hang around pretending to be films when in reality they are a bunch of lame-ass skits stuck together approximating about 85 minutes of your wasted life.

Take Disaster Movie as a reference point. No, I have not seen this film. I will not see this film. But I did watch the trailer, which “spoofed” such films as Sex and the City, The Incredible Hulk, Hancock, Indiana Jones, and Juno. Listen to me here you hacks: NONE of those films are disaster movies. MAYBE Hancock, Indiana Jones and Hulk are, based on the fact that they contain action and hence disasters, but a disaster movie is very clearly something such as Twister, The Day After Tomorrow, Independence Day and Godzilla. That is, a film revolving around a huge either natural or monster-like disaster which proceeds to destroy a chosen U.S. city. And no, Hulk is not a disaster movie, it is still a SUPERHERO movie with disaster elements. And yes, there already has been a Superhero Movie, so why not put Hulk in that? It boggles the mind.

At least Kim K's in this. But seriously, what the heck is with that midget?

I shall continue.

What is spoofing? I will look this up. Dictionary.com states that it is "to satirize in a playful amiable manner". Okay, so what does satirize mean? "To attack, ridicule, or criticize with satire". Okay, so what is satire? "A literary work in which vices, follies, stupidities, abuses etc. are held up to ridicule or contempt". Right, so what these films are supposedly doing is showing how lame genre films can be, by exposing the generic cliches and holding them up for ridicule?

As if.

Disaster Movie's trailer has a spoof of Hancock, where some black dude who looks just like Will Smith is sitting on a park bench just like Will Smith in Hancock, drunk just like Will Smith in Hancock, and flies up hitting a light pole, just like Will Smith in Hancock. Newsflash: that was the joke guys - a superhero who is a miserable and inept drunk. You did not ridicule anything, you simply reproduced the joke.

Lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame.

Another joke involves Hulk going around being the Hulk. Wow. How funny. Not.

Another joke has Indiana Jones as a black midget. That REALLY proves to me how bad and unoriginal Indiana Jones 4 was. Keep in mind, it would not be difficult to prove how lame Indiana Jones was. But you had to pull the black midget card. Awesome.

The spoof film usually spoofs comedies. Now, wait, how do you spoof a comedy? It was already funny. Take Juno for instance. I was not a huge fan, but you made no effort to display Juno’s pretentious foibles, but rather just have a character who looks and acts like Juno. WTF???

And do you know why Juno was in Disaster Movie? Because it won an Oscar. It made no sense and never will. It was there just because the filmmakers decided it was a popular movie.

Spoof movies are what people watch when they cannot be bothered watching the other movies it spoofs. So for the highlights (or more aptly, lowlights) of the Hollywood cinematic season, go check out the latest spoof movie and get the rundown. It’s like watching a really bad and boring trailer of 200 films at exactly the same time.

Please spoof films – go away. Or more importantly please, people, STOP FEEDING THESE EVIL MAKERS-OF-SPOOF-FILMS YOUR MONEY! Give the seventeen bucks to charity. Or a bum who will use it for smokes. Or better yet, go out and watch one of the films it “spoofs”. Just don’t watch Indiana Jones 4, cause it’s half as lame as Disaster Movie, and that’s very lame.

Goodbye.