Perhaps...

Right now I am encoding into an MPG2 file the 549th version of my currently untitled feature film that is perhaps called:

THE LIVING FUTURES

Perhaps...is that title not totally lame? I just don't know any more. I wish it was the right title so the whole thought process could be pushed aside. It hurts my brain.

Here is a synopsis I wrote a while back, not sure if it fully sums up the film:

Returning after two years in exile, Cordelia Holt is dragged back into the seedy Australian underbelly of both her father, and former lover, Pierson Stikes. After a series of unavoidable and inexplicable consequences, the only question that remains is - why? And the answer to that does not lie in Cordelia's future. It is in her past.

I realized while typing this that my main character is Pierson, not Cordelia, so this synopsis makes little sense. Oh well.

Anywho, the film goes backwards and then backwards again and all is eventually revealed (it's not as lame as it sounds [I hope]).

So as I am sitting at my computer - which has given me turmoil after turmoil for 9 months I might add - I am adjusting to the fact that this film might nearly be finished.

Only 17 months and 6 days later!

My favourite film about [low-budget] filmmaking. So painful and true! Aaaaagh!!!!!
Although for the purposes of this blog I'm sure I'll be able to scrounge up a hundred more

movies about the same thing as a point of reference. And once again I am a generic hack...

But then I start thinking about this, and all that comes into my head is the realization that no matter how hard I try, or how much effort I put into this beast, I will ultimately dissatisfy a lot of people.

FOR EXAMPLE: I showed my housemate and friend, who is also IN the film as a major character, and after viewing it she requested to be disowned from the film.

Lovely.

She said it was "confusing". It's supposed to be confusing! Yes yes she has a point perhaps it is TOO confusing but when you talk through the entire movie how are you possibly going to realize there is a plot twist coming?

And THEN it hit me. When someone sits down to watch your movie that you have shed blood and sweat for years over, they don't care that it's your baby. They don't care that it's your passion. They care that you're taking up 93 minutes of your life and goddamit you better earn it!

And I guess they have a point. Who am I to take those 93 minutes away from anybody? Do I deserve those 93 minutes? Will I use those 93 minutes well? Or will that person I am placing inside temporary arrested development walk away either

a) Having wasted their 93 minutes when they could have been eating, sleeping, or watching a good movie?
b) Detracted from their overall life and sense of well being, convincing them that having a dream and passion [ie. me] is not enough to ensure success, fame, fortune, and most of all talent.

This is a poster idea I had, obviously not finished...
shall post more pics and maybe vids when I can.

My rant will finish now to continue another day. My aim is to make a post about my film only every 3 posts, that way I am not TOO monotonous or self-loathing.

If anyone ever reads this and has some interesting experiences or thoughts to share, please help wound my bleeding heart. Otherwise my housemate might get to it first.