Honest to blog! not another one...

The age of technology will destroy us all. Just ask James Cameron. But fear it or not, we cannot escape it.



In the 21st century we are all linked and bound by binary codes and our inner yearning for 15 minutes of fame.

And now it is my time

After 23 long and painful years outside of the limelight, hiding in the darkest corners of libraries and public bathrooms, I am here to scream out:

"HEY WORLD. I EXIST!!!"

Who am I talking to here?



Today myself, tomorrow the world. And they will be uproarious in enthusiasm, with multitudes of marriage proposals and book deals, and a movie of the week starring Brian Austin Green as myself.

And who can I thank for my soon-to-be-found fame?

One stripper with a penchant for goth clothing and making up absurd catch phrases.

Hint: Oscar winner. Second hint: Hamburger phone.

Yes, that's right friends. The coolest chick since Ellen Page is a trend-setter, a rule-breaker.

A success.

And goddamn are we jealous of you. So we'll mock your wicked ways. Say you're a one hit wonder [and ignore Jennifer's Body and Megan's Boobs], and toss our 90's hamburger phones in the bin with our tobacco pipes and second-hand furniture sets.

But don't listen to our harsh words, and do ignore our slanted eyes.

We would be you too. In the blink of an eye.

And let's be honest here, we are doing our best to be you already. All 3 million of us. Heck, if we don't have a blog we have a screenplay hidden in our third drawer about our lives, loves, and fears.

So thank you Diablo Cody for exposing society's urge to be heard. We owe you our lives.

Well, our new ones at least.

Wizard.