Dreams of a Nobody

Darren Aronofsky and Danny Boyle interview

2008-12-24T08:04:00.002+11:00

Why does this not happen more often? Getting two awesome but entirely dissimilar filmmakers in a room together and just letting them ask whatever the heck they want. Can you imagine what David Fincher and Martin Scorsese would have to say to each other? Marty would probably just talk the whole time while Fincher looked terse. Or how about Steven Spielberg and Michael Mann? Yeah, I know, I don't

End of Year Blues?

2008-12-20T13:15:00.003+11:00

Every year from November 10th or so my life is consumed by a massive bubble which circles over me, and I think it is called the End of Year Blues.No, I'm not excited for Christmas, or even hopeful for the upcoming New Year, I'm just mega-fuckin'-melancholy about...what? The things I didn't achieve during the year? The things I need to achieve in the year to come to make up for everything I did

Big robot

2008-12-19T09:12:00.000+11:00

Hmm...They may have good intentions, but is this film REALLY necessary?

Facebook: the new Big Brother

2008-12-18T13:13:00.000+11:00

The Age of the Stalker is here, friends. There is no privacy. Furthermore, we don't even WANT any privacy. We enjoy, no, thrive on sharing our innermost private secrets with a general undiscerning public. First there was Myspace, but that was a little segregated and individual, so along came Facebook to fill in the gap. And boy was there a gap. Now every activity, particularly any social

Elephant vs. 2:37

2008-12-09T10:02:00.001+11:00

Last week I was so unwell so I watched six films in bed in one day, and two of them happened to have a few things in common. Well, actually, they had A LOT in common. One was called 2:37, and is an Australian film released in 2006, whilst the other was an American film called Elephant, which was released three years earlier in 2003.vs.Elephant was directed by indie demi-God Gus Van Sant, whilst 2

First Public Enemies reviews are in...

2008-12-05T08:50:00.005+11:00

Michael Mann's new film doesn't get released until July next year but some early reviews have slithered in at Aintitcool, and the general consensus is...shakey. I can't help but feel both reviewers wanted to love the movie, but something was wrong. Bale's cop Pervis seems woefully underdeveloped which is a tad strange coming from the director who brought us Heat (which you should all know created

...saw Australia

2008-12-01T13:05:00.005+11:00

Worth the 18 bucks I'd say. Overblown melodrama with great cinematography and production design. Hugh Jackman was a great hero, and David Wenham a formidable villain (if slightly under-developed). Kidman was initially terribly hokey in her English-Aristocrat overracting, but slowly eased into her role and finally won me over.One huge flaw: Baz Luhrmann is not funny. He is lame. And the first 30

Tie for film of the year...

2008-11-24T12:25:00.007+11:00

...with Benjamin Button. Does this not look amazing? Rourke is my man. The dude has been cranking out some awesome films for years. It actually enrages me how people knock this dude, and all these parallels they're drawing between his character in The Wrestler and himself are obviously apt (here is a link to a fantastic interview where he discusses this), but did we not watch Domino or Sin City

The Box delayed

2008-11-24T12:06:00.004+11:00

Richard "Donnie Darko" Kelly's new film The Box has been delayed from March '09 to November '09. That's a long wait, and since it's a genre film I doubt it's to make it accountable for Oscar considerations.First pic. Not exactly riveting, but could be great.Coming after the big-time flop Southland Tales, this is not comforting. We all loved Donnie, but Southland was a pretentious mess, and made

For Your Consideration

2008-11-24T11:57:00.004+11:00

Best Picture. Let it happen.It will be a big breakthrough for Hollywood cinema.

Twilight made 70 million

2008-11-24T11:55:00.006+11:00

What is this film? It looks like Buffy and Angel all over again.Cinematical reports:The numbers just rolled in, and it looks like Twilight has grabbed a whopping $70.5 million in its opening weekend, slightly above earlier estimates of $45-65 million. For a film catered more toward young female audiences, these numbers are pretty damn impressive -- especially since these sorts of openings are

Australia: 2 and 2

2008-11-21T10:48:00.008+11:00

There are 2 things about this film that get me excited:1) Hugh Jackman. This guy is the real thing. With the exception of the piece of trash Van Helsing (horrible, horrible film), Mr. Jackman has always exuded charm and charisma even in lukewarm films like Deception. He makes his films emminently more watchable.2) Australia. The country, I mean. We need this - a huge, sprawling saga celebrating

Tom Cruise and the Top Ten

2008-11-19T08:06:00.016+11:00

You didn't ask for it but you're gonna get it. I'm in a furious mood today, because I am sick and tired of people shitting on Tom Cruise. That's right, Tom Cruise. He is a whacky Scientologist. He enjoys jumping on couches and screaming really loudly. He possibly enjoys the company of men. He enjoys Joey Potter in his bed (a personal issue I have with him).Get over it.Tom Cruise is a phenomenal

PIXAR ROCKS

2008-11-10T13:31:00.004+11:00

They make the best kids films ever. Ratatouille was the bomb. Toy Story was unforgettable. WALL-E groundbreaking and profound. They haven't ever made a bad film. Even Cars was loads of fun and has one of the last Paul Newman performances.But Up just looks freakin' fuckin' fantastically hilarious.How could this turn out bad? That is a rhetorical question.

2008-11-10T12:55:00.008+11:00

Aintitcoolnews reports that James Cameron wasn't really consulted about Terminator 4, but he would have been happy to.God among directors. Lucky for him Titanic made a f-ing bundle so we'll let it slide.There's been some discussion at AICN and elsewhere of me rescinding my so-called blessing of T4 and that's not the case. The truth is there never was a blessing to rescind, and there's been some

Why the Dark Horse wins the race

2008-11-05T18:55:00.005+11:00

The Dark Horse doesn't scream for attention. They chip away slowly at life until finally they have built their castle. Whilst most of humanity has been lying on their ass talking shit, the Dark Horse has been creeping up from behind to win the race.People respect Dark Horses, but only after-the-fact. Before they officially become a Dark Horse they are Nobodies, and NOBODY will notice them. That

Who would play Barack Obama in a movie?

2008-11-05T18:38:00.007+11:00

Denzel. Too obvious?Don Cheadle. This one has indie cred.Terence Howard. Would charge too much.Samuel L. Jackson? Probably too old.[Insert all other 3 top-tier black actors].

A reminder

2008-11-05T18:37:00.003+11:00

Tom Cruise rocks. We must all not forget this.Further information coming soon.

Joaquin Phoenix to quit acting. WTF?????

2008-11-05T18:27:00.004+11:00

This dude is apparently is going around saying that he's quitting acting. Why Joaquin? I mean, why?Just use the old "taking a break" bullshit. We all know you'll be back when your music career crashes and burns and you're unzipping James Gray's pants to be in his next movie. Listen, Joaquin: I have some hefty man-love for you, I really do. You kicked ass in Gladiator, Walk the Line and even We

BREAKING NEWS: Someone Actually Likes The Psycho Remake

2008-11-03T11:23:00.011+11:00

I joke not. In a bizarre coincidence of timing (momentarily neglecting the fact that it was Halloween 3 days ago) Cinematical has released an article defending Gus Van Sant's Psycho remake. The dude calls it "a great experiemental film" and "fascinating".I'm all for freedom of expression, but this is my blog so here's my freedom of expression:Whatever. Just plain WHATEVER. Not even Van Sant's

Batman 3?

2008-11-03T11:07:00.007+11:00

The Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan disappeared on July 18 for an extended vacation while his wallet back in L.A. steadily filled up with millions of dollar bills. Now he has returned to civilization coated in solid gold and is most probably receiving fellatio from the entire Warner Bros. exec team (and all other studios too, I'm sure) but had enough time to answer some questions to the

Cool, or totally lame?

2008-11-03T09:54:00.000+11:00

Frankly, I was just confused.

Boondocks sequel is a go go. Oh no no.

2008-11-03T09:50:00.009+11:00

Did anyone actually watch The Boondock Saints? Personally, I've read more about the shit storm that went around it than the actual film itself. The writer/director Troy Duffy was allegedly some major asshole who pissed on anyone who tried to help him make the film. As an aspiring writer/director myself I know how much cock I will suck for any money that isn't coming out of my own pocket. Hell,

Tom Cruise & Saw. WTF???

2008-11-01T18:59:00.003+11:00

The new Valkyrie trailer is out and about. This Tom Cruise-starrer has been long delayed but actually looks oodles of fun.But seriously, what the flying fuck are they doing using the Saw music? Don't they know that [1] the fifth film of that shit came out last weekend, and [2] it sucked??? Sure it's a good tune, but it's so linked to the films it's like using Star Wars music to market the new

Gus Van Sant however, can make great films

2008-10-31T09:57:00.003+11:00

Generally he does, actually. Pretentious maybe, but pretty great director. Milk looks like a nice balance between indie and mainstream sensibilities, another Good Will Hunting (NOT Finding Forrester) if you will... Milk TrailerAnd to be honest I'm all for the gay-love movies. Sure the guy gets assasinated by Josh Brolin (this is not a spoiler), but I'm sure the movie loves the gays. And why

Worst remake ever

2008-10-31T08:43:00.005+11:00

I can't believe I neglected to mention the worst remake ever. Psycho!!! When I mistakenly stumbled into this as a young teen, I knew even then how entirely shit the film was, despite not having seen or heard too much about the original. I don't understand this film. It's one of those unfathomable "what were they thinking?" films like Hudson Hawk, Swept Away, and Battlefield Earth. What drew such

Roger Ebert: food connoisseur

2008-10-31T08:32:00.006+11:00

A double-post-relevance hit in Ebert's review for Kevin Smith's Zack and Miri Make a Porno contains an extended food metaphor. Does it work? You be the judge:Since he likes to eat, I will describe him in food terms. He isn't a gourmet chef, supplying little nuggets of armadillo surrounded by microscopic carrots and curlicues of raspberry-avocado-mint juice. He's the kind of chef I've valued for

Saw Part CXII: Jigsaw's Redemption Apocalypse Takes Manhattan.

2008-10-28T15:03:00.003+11:00

I'm sorry, but who the FUCK watches the Saw movies these days???Saw V over the weekend made $30.5 million in the states. So that, divided by say 10 bucks a ticket, is A FUCKLOAD OF STUPID MORONIC RETARDED LOBOTOMIZED PEOPLE!!!Don't you dumbasses know that only the first one was good? Didn't you learn your lesson with the first 3 sequels? Or did you think it was cool that the bimbo chick from

Kevin Smith and Judd Apatow: seperated at birth?

2008-10-28T14:04:00.007+11:00

Spot the difference.Having just finished the entirely interesting and amusing Kevin Smith journal, I found an article in the New York Times pretty interesting, regarding Smith's upcoming film Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Primarily Smith and the journalist discuss the relevance and undeniable comparisons that have been drawn between Mr. Smith and fellow filmmaker (but more financially successful)

Films: the food of the soul.

2008-10-24T11:04:00.013+11:00

Have you ever read a review or blurb for some pretentious piece of twattle - most probably involving local theatre - that tried to compare its greatness to food? “A delightful truffle of a night”, or “the delectable talents of [insert some hack]”. Frankly it’s lame. And yes I did the very same thing a few posts ago saying Ridley Scott served up tasty dishes of food for us with Body of Lies, but

The most decidedly SEVEN things Miley Cyrus hates about you!

2008-10-22T14:44:00.008+11:00

This has nothing to do with films or myself, (except that the song should be in a film and I have a huge non-sexually-perverse crush on Miley Cyrus) but former friend Yasmin Cameron just accused the poor lass of not being able to count, so I felt the dire need to post a dissection of her song on this blog. The song in question is Miley's "7 Things". Here it is for your listening pleasure.Okay,

But wait...

2008-10-22T14:27:00.004+11:00

Yesterday I viewed Burn After Reading, the Coen Bros latest film. It was filled with despicable, selfish, loathsome, vain, sex-hungry characters who I generally detested. They killed off the two characters I found the most appealing. KILLED THEM OFF! But I thought the film was oodles of fun. My friend Irakli inisisted that Brad Pitt was miscast as the gay fitness instructor. Shame on you Irakli,

The [he]art of slapstick

2008-10-21T11:57:00.007+11:00

Viewing a film called Just Friends on the weekend I was reminded me why I loath some films: They simply have no soul. They exist simply to hate on people and make money. Just Friends was a good example. It had a funny premise - a loser returns to his home town 10 years later, now rich and handsome, to win back the girl who would only ever be his friend - and turned the entire affair into 90

Remakes: let the horror end!!!

2008-10-20T12:12:00.000+11:00

It wasn’t always so ghastly. The Fly was a remake. So was Scarface. Both those films took their respective originals and rejigged them for a modern-day audience whilst adding their own inique subtext and directorial vision. In doing so, the intelligent folks making the films realised that this meant not regurgitating the same shit over and over again.So what the FUCK is wrong with those bastards

She's all not that

2008-10-19T10:57:00.000+11:00

In relation to my previous post, I just viewed the trailer for Bride Wars and am certain that Kate Hudson is the worst actress in Hollywood. Almost Famous was a fluke, or extraordinarily close to her personality, or Cameron Crowe is a legend and can get a great performance out of a retarded parrikeet. Or all of thos reasons.She is all bad. BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD.BAD.

Actors who have no consistency

2008-10-17T09:46:00.015+11:00

Mark Whalberg's new film Max Payne is getting horrid reviews. It is rating 8% at Rotten Tomatoes, possibly the second lowest score after Disaster Movie's much deserved 2% rating (who the hell gave it a positive review. I must find this for another post!)Max Payne's shitness really shouldn't be a surprise because it is based on a video game (although I'm willing to give Super Mario Bros. another

The Cinematic Marketplace or the Cinematic Wasteland?

2008-10-13T18:15:00.008+11:00

Best Movie ff the Week [according to the general consensus]What is wrong with the current state of the cinematic marketplace? imdb.com reports that Beverly Hills Chihuahua beat out Body of Lies in its second week, the latter finishing up in third behind some lame-ass next horror movie Quarantine which looks like a cheap-skate rehash of The Blair Witch Project.The fact is, audiences simply have no

Smiley Face

2008-10-13T12:18:00.007+11:00

Smiley Face received no Australian theatrical distribution. Here's why it rocked:[1] Unlike other stoner movies, Anna Faris's characters actually remains stoned throughout the entire film.[2] Unlike other stoner movies, Anna Faris acts like a complete tool and gets into heaps of trouble which she will NOT get out of.[3] Unlike other stoner movies, pot is not the key to all greatness. Sure, it's a

And the award for the most worthless film genre known to man? THE SPOOF MOVIE. Stand up and take your applause.

2008-10-12T10:10:00.006+11:00

People say they used to be good. Airplane! is touted as a comedic classic. I should watch it for that reason alone, as the dregs of modern cinema that insist on shitting on our screenings every few months these days are anything but.There have been 3 sequels.Thanks a lot Scary Movie. You were pretty funny, but the babies you gave birth to are so deformed, butt-ugly and utterly retarded you really

W.

2008-10-08T19:42:00.007+11:00

Oliver Stone is my man. This guy pulls no punches and has made some outstanding films. JFK is one of the 10 best films of all time in my humble opinion. So W. comes with great anticipation.And now the first reviews are slewing in through the press.Jeff Wells reports that:The damn movie leaves you feeling sorry for this fucker at the finale, and that ain't hay. Compassion for a fiendish klutz? For

Film Review: Eagle Eye

2008-10-06T20:39:00.002+11:00

D.J. Caruso's Eagle Eye has received a little flack for its dependancy on slam-bang action set pieces to join together its various plot threads, but that really was the fun of this film. The central premise is nothing original, and I'll be honest and say that the places it goes are also nothing original, but its execution is suspenseful, well-paced, and entertaining, which is good enough for

Seriously. WTF???

2008-10-05T14:42:00.000+11:00

I just don't see how this is necessary. Well, for some people this may be preferrable.

Roger Ebert on Martin Scorsese - match made in heaven?

2008-10-05T14:36:00.001+11:00

I think so. If anyone does not know either of those men I feel your life is missing some vital components. This book sounds awesome. I have already ordered it on Amazon.com.Martin is one of the greatest filmmakers of all time, Roger THE greatest film critic of all time.Don't feel bad Martin, you're up the top, but there are a lot more great filmmakers than there are great film critics. Check out

New KELY Facebook Group

2008-10-05T14:31:00.000+11:00

I have created a new facebook KELY group.Please visit it HERE to join.

Attention wankers: are books REALLY better than movies?

2008-10-05T13:10:00.008+11:00

I'm consumed with the thought of books lately. Mainly I'm consumed by the fact that I don't read many books. It makes me feel guilty, because it is a widely held belief, or fact, that books increase intelligence, cultural awareness, and are generally more sensorally stimulating than films. The consensus is that whilst in a film you can lay back on your couch and let the entire charade wash over

My defense: House Bunny is pretty great

2008-10-01T19:09:00.001+10:00

I'm sorry, but is that not the most hilarious movie poster you've ever seen?What a pleasant surprise. The reviews have been scathing, but I went with my friend on a whim because we both have a great appreciation for Anna Faris and her comic stylings. Let me say this: if you go into a film like this already having made pre-judgments, this WILL be a bad film. I chose to go with none, and I found

Random Movie of the Week: The Chumscrubber (2006)

2008-10-01T18:57:00.001+10:00

Hot on the heels of Thumbsucker (2005) came Chumscrubber, and until I saw it last night they both seemed like exactly the same film – alienated teen washed out on anti-depressants in American suburbia filled with repressed children and adults alike. They both even have that cute little tyke Lou Taylor Pucci, although in the latter he is a minor character (and MUCH less likeable).After watching

Benjamin Button, Balls-Ugly Brad

2008-10-01T18:46:00.000+10:00

Sexyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. You gotta give the guy credit, Brad Pitt ain’t afraid to look like a baby in the name of art. And I mean literally. In his new film The Curious Case of Benjamin Button directed by one David Fincher, the guy is some old man-baby if that makes sense. I tip this for dark horse Oscar contender. A new trailer is out, check it out…

RIP Paul Newman…you were and eternally will be the man.

2008-10-01T18:41:00.000+10:00

Never going down without a fight.Enough will be said so I don’t need to repeat it, except to note that this guy was a true screen legend. Never pretentious or above slapping his face on the front of a salad dressing jar in the name of charity, Mr. Newman rocked my world, and will continue to do so in the endless replays of The Hustler, The Hudsucker Proxy, Slap Shot, heck even Cars, and so many

Five HUGE directors who have the balls to be themselves...but still like the taste of popcorn

2008-10-01T17:48:00.001+10:00

Mainstream directors are often criticized for pandering to the masses, dumbing down to allow digestion for the more ADHD, red-cordialized 21st century viewer flicking through the chapters on their DVD remote. But there are still the odd auteurs hanging around who consistently deliver challenging, thought-provoking POPCORN films. So this is no time to mention David Lynch with his 3-hour opus

Hollywood and the Anorexia Situation

2008-09-23T15:32:00.000+10:00

A few weeks ago saw the premiere of the updated, revamped Beverly Hills 90210 TV show.The results were mixed at best. Seventh Heaven-style family values were uncomfortable nestled with Melrose Place-like sexual antics. And please do not forget that these characters are 16, not 36. Take note: token plack kid in middle, next to mum from Full HouseBut the main issue I had with this show was the

Random Movie of the Week: Heaven's Gate (1980)

2008-09-23T15:09:00.002+10:00

The film that saw the 70s come crashing down, and auteur director's having their power transplanted back to the studios, this was Michael Cimino's follow-up to his Best Picture Oscar-winning The Deer Hunter (1978). Largely infamous for completely bombing and sending its studio into bankruptcy, the film is worth watching even just for curiosities sake.This was showing at a local cinema The Chauvel

Website update

2008-09-15T15:42:00.001+10:00

www.floorless-films.com has been updated with photos and more info. Feel free to check it out.

Random Movie of the Week: Good Advice (2001)

2008-09-15T15:34:00.001+10:00

Not the classiest of choices all things considering, this rom-com went straight-to-DVD, but my friend and I were curious to see how bad this film could really be. Surprisingly, not THAT bad. Besides, sometimes we all need a little trash cinema in our lives, hehe…The entire enterprise resembled one of those light 80’s comedies that would star Michael J. Fox, Robert Downey Jr., or even Charlie

Music licensing update

2008-09-15T15:15:00.000+10:00

I sent an email to EMI asking them to lower their asking price ($2500 per 30 seconds) and they declined. Awesome.HOWEVER, thanks to a comment made by http://www.youlicense.com/ I was able to solve my song dilemma by completely scrapping Death Cab from my film and replacing them with a new (and much cheaper) song by an artist named Cubland. The song is great and I am happy. Cubland. Thank you.More

Righteous Kill. Unrighteous Career Moves.

2008-09-11T09:17:00.000+10:00

Opening this week in the US is the new buddy cop vehicle for Robert De Niro and Al Pacino, Righteous Kill (2008). Wow. When I first heard this news I was stunned and incredibly excited.Michael Mann’s Heat (1995) is, in my humble opinion, the most outstanding and engrossing crime saga ever committed to celluloid, and for these two cinematic icons to team up again this time as PARTNERS it seemed

Music Copyright. WHY???? Update

2008-09-11T09:14:00.000+10:00

So I have finally tracked down the publishers for “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” and here is what 1 out of the 3 record labels said to me: They are charging $1500 per 30 seconds for any use WITHIN the film. They are charging $2500 per 30 seconds for any use in the END CREDITS. What a joke. Why? - The license is for 1 year - The license is only for festival

Sequelittis. Why???????????????????????????? Plus Inside Man 2: The Day of Reckoning

2008-09-09T16:25:00.000+10:00

There are good sequels out there.Terminator 2 (1991)X-Men 2 (2003) The Dark Knight (2008)The Godfather 2 (1974)The Empure Strikes Back (1980)Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 (1991) - NOT!But when I read over at Cinematical that Spike Lee is in talks to make an Inside Man 2 my blood curdled. How could someone so legit and credible such as Spike sell out for a quick buck?This is nearly as atrocious

Nicolas Cage and the unjustified hate

2008-09-08T16:55:00.000+10:00

One of the banes of my existence is defending Nicolas Cage. Despite his lackluster output lately, the man is an acting legend whether you want to admit it or not.Why so serious, Mr Cage?The reason I bring this up is because his new film Bangkok Dangerous (2008) is out in the States this week and the reviews have been less than great. Rotten Tomatoes reports, in fact, that it is the

Music Copyright: kill me now

2008-09-06T14:02:00.000+10:00